I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
