new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
