I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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