worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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