ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize