I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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