I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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