I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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