This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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