I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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