Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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