is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
