So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
