Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize