hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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