Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
