Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
