I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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