Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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