Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
