you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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