Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
