Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
