it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
