At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
