she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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