i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
