I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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