i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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