A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Houston, we have a blender
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
