I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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