Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize