dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
