no. you can't hotbox the world.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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