Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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