Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
