You made me cry and you don't even care
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
do herpes really smell.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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