ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
