Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
BRING THE BAGELS
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
