the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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