I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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