You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
