drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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