Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
