I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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