4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Even the bartender felt bad for me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
