do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
