sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
