My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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