You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
