You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
