Sry I called you an 8
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
