Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize