I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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