I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
