dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
