they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
