he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
