in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
