Midget sex pt 2 tonight
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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