this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
