And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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