i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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