So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize