Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
