Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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