I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize