its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
