these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize