his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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