3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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