I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
