you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
