Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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