I'm laying in your front yard are you home
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
