So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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