in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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